Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
