I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
