last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
