do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
