Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
