did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
