we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
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