Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
