So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
