You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize