My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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