I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
