Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
