this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize