Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My pussy is not your playground.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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