Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
