kristin has been a bad kristin
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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