areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need a beard to bite.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
