You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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