Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
