for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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