doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
