Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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