yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
