We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
