I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
