I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
