I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
