Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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