Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
