A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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