Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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