Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
