Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
