I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize