Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize