She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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