She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
