are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
