they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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