Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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