Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
