I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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