I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
