i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
