Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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