You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
