where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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