I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
