Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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