So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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