Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
