Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
