Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There r osticjed everywhere
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
