i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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