Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Say something about gay babies.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize