Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
