And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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