Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
