I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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