How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
