dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
