I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
