i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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