I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
