i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize