drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
