i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
