i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
