Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
