I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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