I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize