So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
