Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
